I can’t go through the day without someone praising AI, condemning it, certainly discussing it. I can’t even start this post without a prompt to have it help me. Are you feeling the same?

At one point, which, okay, is well in the past by now, I was choosing classes for my final year at university, and AI was by far the most interesting choice. A compelling professor, all the possible scenarios — fantastic. But SO much just theoretical, back then.

Over the years, leaning on my computer science education, I’ve used technology as a tool a LOT. Right now, I’m tippy-tapping away at a computer that will catalog this post and display it to you, along with the many years of content I’ve gathered here. Did it start with one of the first calculators my dad brought home from his engineering job? Better than multiplication tables! I did learn to type, along the way, but I much prefer a bit of spell-checking help, over backspacing and white-out. As I returned to art, I saw the benefit and delight of manipulating my layers of photos and scans on the screen. Technology that helps with the slow parts, that I don’t want to add to my process? Yes please.

But each element I’ve used has been algorighmic: predictable, the same results each time. I’m comfortable with that. AI is not that: it’s different results, not reliable or trustworthy, not even well-understood, but definitely confident and assuring, while using resources in an unsustainable way. And yet: it is also helping people with the slow parts, the difficult parts for them.

So, where does it fit, for me? Right now, it doesn’t. I want to create my own words and images, a process I enjoy (most of the time) and learn from, during the painful bits. I know when I’m on the right path through a gut feel, a visceral response, that I’m learning to listen to. AI can’t help there. But it IS everywhere: can I really say I’ll never use it, when even the search keywords I type generate an AI response that I ignore?

I’m gleaning some guidelines from a wise writer, Abi Awomosu who advises caution, awareness, though not abstinence. When I tried the prompt exercise* at the end of this article of hers, the results shone a very bright light on the reality of this new medium: it’s more than a tool. But it’s also less then what people are relying on it for. The overconfident answers, the ingrained bias, the seductive reassurances: they are all coming from a prediction model with no agency, hopes, or dreams.

So many times in my life, I’ve said “Never!” and been proved wrong. So I’m not saying never to AI. As contrarian as I am, I do look for the gray areas, and continue to evaluate what makes sense for me. If an AI model was powered ethically and could solve something I’m struggling with, I might say yes. But just arguing that AI is the future, can’t be stopped, and must be used so I’m not left behind? Nope, that’s bullshit. I’m going to keep working on my art, learning about myself, with my eyes, hands, and the tools I understand — for now.

* Those prompts generated over FORTY pages of responses, over 80,000 words! There’s a lot to think over. I encourage you to try it for yourself to understand the breadth of the system.